Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize