so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sorry about my life...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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