I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
