I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
