I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
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He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
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Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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