Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
