i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
