You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
