I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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