Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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