He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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