My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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