Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
