Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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