you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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