I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
