so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
