well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
