No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
