He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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