I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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