Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
