I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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