New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
