Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
