Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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