You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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