proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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