Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
