There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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