Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
