She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
