PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
