yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
