Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
