Your tits are I can't wait for
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
