Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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