I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
