You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize