sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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