Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have post one night stand depression
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