walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
