I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
ok first of all what the fuck
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
