seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
