Small penises have feelings too.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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