I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
