so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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