and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
