STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize