so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
