he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
