I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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