Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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