Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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