a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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