So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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