today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
