My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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