i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize