didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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