it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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