He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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