her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
