please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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