i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
