Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
