ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
