what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
