Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
