i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
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