I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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