My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
