I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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