Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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