I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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